Musician and actor Ntobeko Sishi, known for his role as Ntokozo on the popular show Gomora, recently spoke with City Press about his struggles with depression and emotional fragility. He revealed that he had even contemplated suicide at one point.
Ntobeko Sishi: “My Aunt Found a Couple of My Songs”
In the interview, Sishi shared how his aunt discovered some of his songs in which he talked about wanting to end his life. She was devastated by what she heard and approached him gently, urging him to seek help from a therapist.
“My aunt found a couple of my songs where I was talking about wanting to end my life, and she was very disappointed. She approached me, gently saying, hey you have to go see a therapist. I tried to deny it, saying I am okay,” Sishi said.
Sishi also spoke about his new EP and how it reflects his experiences and emotions. He explained that the EP is honest and doesn’t sugarcoat anything and that it was important for him to talk about how his upbringing was not the greatest.
In a previous interview with Kaya 959’s Breakfast team Dineo Ranaka and Sol Phenduka, Sishi revealed that he lost his mother when he was just six years old. This trauma deepened when he attended the University of Cape Town, where he experienced darkness that surpassed even the pain he had felt growing up.
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“I Left Gomora to Focus on Music”
Sishi also discussed his decision to leave Gomora in order to focus on his music. He explained that he didn’t write his songs in order to become famous or trend, but rather as a way to heal and deal with the things he went through while at university.
“I wrote this to heal, to truly deal with the things I went through in university, to tell those stories, and to close that chapter because I never did. The purpose of A Night In The Hills is to tell the story of my time at UCT, which is a university in the hills,” Sishi said.
He described how he wanted the EP to feel like a narrative piece about a night at UCT: going there as a Christian, losing his way completely, questioning everything, finding love, getting heartbroken, and dealing with suicidal thoughts.
Now 25 years old, Sishi says that his mental health has improved and that he is finally in a place where he can focus on his music happily, safely, and comfortably.
“I have been wanting to make that a priority for a long time in my life. I am finally at a place where I feel like I can do that happily, safely and comfortably, so that is what I am doing right now,” said Sishi.